Apart From Goals
transcending our ambition
There is no hiding my friend. You and I are here together living and breathing on this last day, hours, minutes, maybe even seconds of 2023. Another year swept along like a ship sailing across open water. Some days the weather proved warm and sunny with just the right amount of wind in our sails to gently move us in the direction of our heart’s desires.
Until cloudly gray skies exploded in an unexpected tempest. Unprepared, with no time to batten down the hatches, our world tossed about like a child’s toy boat crashing into the waves of life.
While in between the highs and lows, we feel as if we’ve run aground. Beached. Stuck. Stranded.
While that may seem a bit exaggerated, the truth is each of us holds stories of life’s volatility. Yes, some may be more dramatic, but we all experience personal tsunamis. One comfort is in the knowing that we humans are truly in this lifeboat together. No one is exempt from inner and external turmoil, or the seas of uncertainty.
That is why, as we stand at the threshold of a new year, I spend time looking back at how well I’ve managed to weather the storms. I look back to those significant moments, that often seem to go on forever, to acknowledge the people who were there to support me. That helped me get through. Who reached out a hand and pulled me out of the deep ocean of fear and sorrow. Who reminded me how strong and brave I was. How extraordinarily resilient. How I’ve succeded in rising up and through the murky waters before, and I damn well can do it again. They remind me that I have the history to prove it.
As I look back in curiosity I ask myself, are those people who stood by me the same generous souls who also applauded and celebrated my wins, my accomplishments? Blessedly, yes. They are my people. We stand together through it all and keep the love flowing like a well-spring that never runs dry. Because it doesn’t.
So, I invite you to do the same and review the year you have lived. On this last day of 2023 begin to consider, who was there for you as you navigated your upheavals. Who held your hand when you thought the tears would never stop flowing? Who has been your unwavering champion? Who has lifted you out of despair? And in the next breath celebrated your achievements as if they were their own?
Recognizing your people, and being grateful for the gift of their unwavering presence in your life is a true sign of success. Having clear goals for a new year is important, don’t get me wrong. I have them. And I offer my clients tips and practical strategies to attain their aspirations and dreams.
Yet, as we look around us, at the world we find ourselves living in, I believe we need equal focus not only on our professional development and success but on the value of friendship and the importance of kindness and compassion exhibited in the people we choose to surround ourselves with. It’s not a zero-sum game.
“Before you know kindness as the deepest thing inside,
you must know sorrow as the other deepest thing.
You must wake up with sorrow.
You must speak to it till your voice
catches the thread of all sorrows
and you see the size of the cloth.
Then it is only kindness that makes sense anymore…” Naomi Shihab Nye
At the same time, you might ask yourself whether you were there for the important people in your life. Did you stop in the middle of a project to hold the container of love for your best friend as she crashed and burned in the flames of a relationship gone bad? Did you have the wherewithal to hold the space for your adult child without preaching the coulda, woulda, shoulda’s? Have you listened deeply to the worry and concern of your aging parent as they struggle with loss? My friend, how did you show up? Did you reciprocate with the same loving kindness you needed at pivotal moments?
Realizing your goals in your business and profession is fulfilling and exciting. But have you invested equal time and care in your interpersonal relationships? Did you create deeper and more meaningful connections with your family and friends? With yourself?
I hope that you love yourself enough to spend time with these contemplations.
Where have you placed your focus this past year?
Were you able to stay balanced between professional gain and personal joy and fulfillment?
Who has been there for you through the sorrows and the jubilation? Did you thank them?
Have you shown up for your people? How?
Have you made kindness and compassion a living practice?
My friend, as we enter into the new year I wish you peace of heart, joy, good health, and prosperity in all ways.
With love and appreciation, Paulette