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Sandra Pawula's avatar

Source.

Paula Kostel's avatar

I'm getting a divorce, and it's awful and wonderful. Awful to have been lied to and betrayed, and sad that our connection broke so quietly so long ago that neither of us wanted to admit it. Wonderful that I’m moving on to the next chapter. I feel free! And my wife and I are watching the compass needle spin as we navigate this process as friends. Humans are such odd creatures - we can hold so many conflicting feelings at once and they can all be true.

Thank you, Paulette, to help silence the din my narration makes. Grateful to listen and learn, and eventually understand whatever I need to.

Paulette Bodeman's avatar

Dearest Paula, I’m honored you’re here, speaking what’s on your heart.

I’m sorry for the awfulness, the betrayal, and the sadness that you’ve been feeling, experiencing. And I’m so happy for you. For the joy of becoming, for the next chapter yet to be written, and the friendship you’ve found in the glorious mess of it all.

The paradox of life has long fascinated me, while at times it has also smacked me upside the head. Big Feels, as our friend @Marya Hornbacher has aptly named it.

Paula Kostel's avatar

Big Feels indeed, and I'll see you very soon!

Paulette Bodeman's avatar

Oh, I get to see you!!

Lea Pounds's avatar

Paulette, I’m enjoying these Midyear Pause reflection questions. One thing that is becoming clear to me is that I can do what I do just for myself. I’m not harming others by finding my authentic voice and giving that the respect it deserves.

Paulette Bodeman's avatar

I'm so glad these reflections are feeling supportive, Lea. And I'm so so happy to hear that you're gaining clarity for yourself and the work you're doing. Your voice is strong and definitely deserves the attention and respect you're giving it.

Write on!

Randolph Proksch's avatar

Reconciling with my 27yo son.

He suffered greatly from both,

my very inappropriate & abusive use of spanking during his first 7 years of life,

and the emotional & physical neglect, exacerbated by my constant absence in his life while I consistently worked away from his home with his mother & sisters.

After a decade, it still hasn’t gotten thru to him from my apparently insufficient & incompetent attempts to respectly relate with him, that I am no longer the very real threat that he grew up with.

Paulette Bodeman's avatar

Thank you, Randolph, for your willingness to address this question so deeply. For your willingness to be brave and vulnerable in your response. More importantly, for your willingness to be brave and vulnerable with your son. Adult relationships with our children are fraught with obstacles, even in the best of times. Your willingness to keep trying for repair and love, I believe, is a worthy cause.